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A Little Vent/Rant/Whine or Whatever You Want to Call It

I used to use my FB page as a place to vent my frustrations back when Tristan’s skin was an everyday battle. Just because his skin is better, doesn’t mean everything’s perfect with Tristan, although we are extremely grateful about the skin – trust me. Anyway, it’s been a while that I ranted a bit, so I figure I’m due. Here goes.

Tristan used to be a very good eater. He would eat honestly anything I placed in front of him, no matter how healthy. He loved brussel sprouts, still does, thankfully, and one night cried because he couldn’t finish his plain steamed broccoli because as punishment for something he had to go straight to bed. (I promise we’re good/fair parents.) I make homemade meals from scratch every night. Since we’re dealing with multiple allergies, there are basically no in-the-box shortcuts I can use – not even canned tomatoes since they’re to acidic. I’m sure I’m not alone on that.

Anyway, lately Tristan has become quite picky. I’m sure it’s the age – he’s 3.5. I spend about 1.5 hours at least every night making dinners, that also become lunches the next day. Many times he takes a bite or two of the meal and won’t eat any more. Or he’ll eat his tortilla and scrape all the good stuff off. It’s so ironic as he’s the only reason we eat allergy free. So far, my husband, daughter, and I can eat anything. (Although we’re doing an elimination diet ourselves starting Jan 2.) So, I’m cooking these special meals with him in mind and then he doesn’t eat them. Grrr. I’m sure I’m not the only one cooking meals for a picky toddler.

And he’s three years old – really three – wild, screaming, full of uncontrollable energy three. Sometimes I step back and watch him and I have to wonder who this kid is. He can’t be my child. And of course we have lots of good times, but lately the bad seems to be more memorable.

He’s also just horrible with his sister. They have good moments, but the bad ones are just terrible. She always gets hurt. Of course she does, she’s 16 months old. But, she’s toughening up and become quite the trouble maker herself. So, these two running around, reeking havok on themselves and the house while I’m making dinner is just driving me a little batty. Especially today. Hence this post.

I know I should be grateful for two wonderful, healthy kids – skin and allergies under control. I am. I am over the top grateful. But I am still a mom who has a bad day here and there and just needs someone to listen to her complain.

Thank you for listening.

Please feel free to vent your frustrations here as well. I promise it feels good to let it out.

29 Comments Post a comment
  1. Ooh, you do yoga? Cool! I’ve been meaning to do more yoga and I’ve joined a meditation group and that has been really great for reducing my stress levels.

    Like

    December 20, 2011
    • Yes, love yoga! I’ve dappled in tai chi, which is awesome and now I’m doing some pilates as well. I enjoy the meditation part at the end of yoga, but I’ve never really done a full-on meditation class. What type of meditation do you like?

      Like

      December 21, 2011
  2. I can honestly say that this is normal and it will pass, then it will get wacky again and pass again. My son (who has food allergies) is such a picky eater and I feel terrible because my job is to tell people why eating healthy is so important and here is my son, who loves anything not so healthy! Granted, his non-healthy items are still healthier than other snacks but it is frustrating.

    Maybe, because of his age, he’s starting to test his independence more and is also confused on what he should be doing with and without you? Does he help you pick foods and prepare them? This might make him more eager to eat. Also, this sounds silly but give him different eating options- give him a mug for his pasta, give him a straw for his soups, let him eat tiny pieces with toothpicks. I know it sounds strange but my kids started not fussing over eating fruit when I kabobbed them with a toothpick.

    It is hard, especially beause as a food allergy mom, we are making so many more things from scratch, it’s time consuming and, although we do it for them and love them, it’s hard not to just feel angry sometimes because they won’t eat what we prepared. He may not realize it now, but someday he will thank you for all that you do for him. Tomorrow is another day πŸ™‚

    Like

    December 20, 2011
    • “Someday he will thank you,” – that’s what I’m counting on. One day I’ll we’ll talk about all this together and laugh. That’s what keeps me going for now.

      I love your tips about different ways to present and serve the food. I concentrate so hard on the ingredients that I forget to make the food cute for the kids. Would you be interested in writing a guest post with more tips like that? I’ve had so many responses to this post about picky eaters, that I’m sure most of the moms would really benefit from your ideas.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement!

      Like

      December 20, 2011
      • I would be honored to be a guest “poster”. Just let me know how/when πŸ™‚

        Like

        December 20, 2011
      • Fun! I’ll send you an email.

        Like

        December 20, 2011
  3. Lisa @ Allergy Free Vintage Cookery #

    I know, doesn’t that drive you nuts?!? My oldest son will now eat anything again, but my middle son has decided that our food allergy menu is a campaign to make him miserable, and he will actually cry at the dinner table if the entree is not one of his favorites (which are very allergenic) — and he’s ten! The youngest, who’s seven, has been known to boycott meals for an entire day, leading me to completely lose it and threaten all sorts of ridiculous punishment, including giving all his toys away to charity. He’s awfully stubborn, so he usually responds by taking two miniature bites then claiming his stomach hurts and he’s about to throw up. It’s like a standoff between two warriors. We glare at each other and move our chess pieces to see who can outmaneuver the other. “You have a stomachache? Well let’s see what happens when your brothers eat dessert and you are still sitting in front of a plate of cold food!” “Oh yeah? Well now I have to use the bathroom! Really bad!” “Well I’ll see your bathroom and raise you a TV-less evening!!” Grrrrrrr…..

    Like

    December 20, 2011
    • LOL!!! I can just visualize the show down between you and your son! It’s like a great western with tumble weeds rolling around. And the punishments – I’ve been known to threaten my guy with words that just fly out of my mouth without fully understanding them until I hear them with my own ears and want to take them back – like your donating all this toys to charity. It’s the passion of motherhood that makes us do and say these things, it has to be. Other than that, I’m out of excuses.

      Like

      December 20, 2011
  4. Oh how I can understand this. You get to screaming pitch after cooking a meal which last week they enjoyed only to find that this week they HATE IT. I don’t know what the answer is as my son with eczema ate all sorts of things when he was small he is now 9 so that might have something to do with it I guess, but heck you lose the will to live sometimes with it. Little sister at the moment nearly 4 years old will eat anything until she sees big brother having his airs and then she starts. so guess you are not alone. anyone who comes up with an answer will be worthe their weight in gold

    Like

    December 20, 2011
    • Oh boy – you mean it doesn’t get better at age 9? I thought it was just temporary around age 3. Geez…not good news for any of us.

      Like

      December 20, 2011
  5. Hugs!! I feel the same way with my almost 3 yr old – between his multiple food allergies and our crazy schedule the last few months, i can completely relate! I try to make meals we can all share but no one is happy most of the time! I can only hope that it gets better

    Like

    December 19, 2011
    • Me too – I sure hope it gets better. What else can we do for now except complain to one another and carry on? Right?

      Like

      December 19, 2011
  6. Linda #

    Oh my! We have all been there. Bless your heart! Some days are really tough, and when you add in the stress of having to make special foods and no shortcuts, make special foods for school events, lunches, etc. it gets very stressful. I’ve had a lot of trouble with my kids fighting and not listening lately, and have been very stressed. In fact, today I drove to another town to go to a store that sold this tea called Tulsi tea(holy basil) because it is supposed to help with stress. I drank a cup of it this afternoon, and it actually works! It apparently lowers your cortisol(stress hormone) level.

    Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully, things will be better for you:-)

    Linda

    Like

    December 19, 2011
    • Oh, great tip about the tea. I will try to find some as there are certainly days when my husband and I could use a whole pot. What parent couldn’t?

      Like

      December 19, 2011
      • Yup. Been there. I am definitely going to get a pot of that tea! I’ve been meaning to tell you congrats on your sunbutter article!

        Like

        December 19, 2011
      • Thank you Nancy! Let me know how you like the tea. I’m eager to try it as well.

        Like

        December 20, 2011
    • Linda #

      I meant to say to do a Google search on tulsi(holy basil) to make sure you should use it. It does say not to use it if you are taking some things and if you have liver problems.

      Enjoy
      Linda

      Like

      December 20, 2011
      • Linda – This stuff is crazy! This website I found makes it sound like holy basil is the cure-all for everything. Take a look. http://hinduism.about.com/od/ayurveda/a/tulsibenefits.htm Interesting.

        Like

        December 20, 2011
      • Linda #

        I read a lot of sites about it before I bought it. That one lists one or two that I don’t think I saw on the others. I should be in good shape if it does all that! LOL! I have been amazed at how much calmer I feel though after just a couple of days of drinking it! The lady at the the store I originally went to to get JuJube(one recommended by Dr. Oz) told me that she takes Tulsi instead and described it to me as like “a deep breath” and I would agree with that. As long as you aren’t taking any meds that it will not mix well with or you don’t have other problems it could worsen, it’s great!

        Like

        December 20, 2011
      • I just read about it some more and it seems like this simple amazingly healthy tea. The only scary thing I read is that there can be some contamination if you don’t buy organic. I may have to give it a try – we can be calm and relaxed together. I’ve lived my whole life as a slightly anxious person – not sure how I’d recognize myself in a permanent “deep breath” type state πŸ˜‰

        Like

        December 21, 2011
      • Linda #

        I bought mine at Organic Market Place in Gastonia NC.

        Like

        December 21, 2011
      • Gastonia? Ha! I went to high school in Charlotte and my best friend to this day is from Gastonia. Small world πŸ™‚

        Like

        December 21, 2011
      • Linda #

        I actually live in Clover SC, but Gastonia is very close to us. Closer than Charlotte. I’m from Charlotte.

        Like

        December 21, 2011
  7. Janet #

    Wow. We had an unbelievably rough day as well, friend. I, too, spend loads of time planning allergy free meals for our entire family, even though it’s only my son who has the multiple allergies. So last night, as usual, I planned the entire week’s meal plan so first thing this morning we were off to the grocery to buy off of our list. We drive all the way out there, located one of those two seater monstrous buggies to hold my 5 yr old and 3 yr old and there was bloody murder screaming before we even got into the store. So instead of braving the store, I walked back to the car with now both kids screaming bloody murder, turned right around and went home groceryless. Ah, the joys of motherhood sometimes!

    Like

    December 19, 2011
    • Oh no! Gotta love siblings – they probably just wanted to see who could scream louder. Isn’t it always a competition? Who can win the most attention usually πŸ™‚ A pat on the back to you for handling it without a melt down of your own. I’m sure you wanted to. Sometimes I just imagine myself showing my true feelings during a moment like that. I mean, what would our kids do if we threw ourselves down on the ground and started screaming and thrashing about? It would be priceless and I’m sure they’d be shocked into good behavior!

      Like

      December 19, 2011
  8. Oh, you mean my daughter’s not the only child screaming, throwing things, having fits and insisting on having her way? ;P I know exactly what you mean. Her skin is greatly improved, but there’s all kinds of other things going on and we’re also having some mealtime issues. I’ve been trying to give her choices and then she will make one and then say, “I don’t want this,” and I’m thinking, “but you ASKED ME to make it for you!”

    Like

    December 19, 2011
    • I figured I wasn’t alone πŸ˜‰ But just how are we going to get through all these Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde phases?

      Like

      December 19, 2011
      • Lots of deep breaths? πŸ™‚

        Like

        December 19, 2011
      • That’s true. If yoga taught me anything, it was how to control your breathing. It helped me through both my births, so it should be a great way to help with stress. If I can remember to do it…

        Like

        December 20, 2011

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